Tinuke’s Story

Tinuke intently watched the clock. It was 10:30 p.m. Femi usually finishes work at 5:00 p.m. He should have been home over four hours ago because his workplace was only 30 minutes away. She shook her head and laughed as she thought of the excuse he would give this time.

“I’m sorry, babe, my boss gave me some extra files to work on.”

“Tinu, you won’t believe how bad traffic was today.”

“I had an impromptu meeting with an important client that ran later than usual.”

However, Tinuke knew better. It wasn’t work, traffic, or a meeting that held him up.  

She sighed and glanced at her phone. There was still no call from him, even though she had called him about 10 times. And of course, it all went to voicemail. She looked at his food, which had been long cold.

She sighed again. It was getting late, and she had to wake up early to take their daughter, Lily, to school. Just as she got up to go to bed, the door creaked open.

“Tinuke. You’re still awake? I told you to stop waiting for me. I had to meet up with Ade to discuss the project we’re working on, and we lost track of time”.

Tiinuke frowned and shifted uncomfortably on her feet. She had called Jumoke, Ade’s wife, earlier. She said that Ade had traveled that morning.

When Femi saw her demeanor, he raised his eyebrows. Then his face lit up.

“Oh yeah, I got you a gift!” He reached into his pocket and brought out a black leather box. He opened it, and there was a glistening gold watch. “Just thought to get you something to show you how much I appreciate you”.

“Thank you, you shouldn’t have”. Tinuke tried to conjure up a smile to match her words, but these days that was getting harder.

“No, of course. I saw it, and I thought it would look beautiful on you. Also, I’ll transfer N100,000 to your account to buy some foodstuff for the house. You can use the rest for whatever you want”.

“Esé ọkọ mi”. She took the box from him and put it in her pocket.

“No need to thank me.” Then, he paused for a second. “Also, I’ll be traveling out of state tomorrow. Are my suits washed? I have an early flight to catch.” He smiled at her and turned towards the stairs.

Just as he turned, Tinuke grabbed the edge of his shirt.

“Femi, you just came back from a month’s trip a few days ago. And you’re leaving again?” She intently stared into his eyes, hoping that this time things would be different.

Femi looked at her and laughed. “How will I take care of you and pay Lily’s school fees if I don’t work? Don’t worry; I’ll be back in just two weeks. And I’ll stay longer”.

Tinuke sighed. That was exactly what he said before his last trip. She slightly loosened her grip on his shirt.

“Will you at least eat?” She already knew the answer, but she decided it would be courteous to still ask.

“Not tonight, love. I got to sleep. Did you wash my new suit?” 

She finally let go of his shirt as she fought to stop a tear from streaming down her cheek.

“Yes,” she said as loudly as her whisper could get. He smiled and walked up the dimly lit stairs, fading into the dark hallway.

After she silently watched his silhouette merge with the darkness, she started cleaning up the set table. After cleaning up, she went to her room, where she saw her husband fast asleep. She took the box from her pocket and caressed the smooth exterior. Then she threw it in the drawer, along with the rest of the gifts he had bought her over the years.  Everyone envied their marriage, but she knew the truth.  Tears streamed down her cheek, but she quickly wiped them away.

She didn’t want the gifts. She didn’t want the gold. She didn’t want his money. What’s the use of having a husband she rarely sees? What’s the use of being in a loveless marriage? 

Yes, Femi was adept at performing all his ‘fatherly’ and husbandly duties’, but she wanted more than that; she wanted him, and she wanted his heart. Marriage was never meant to be transactional; it was a giving of self to each other, and obviously, she was sharing Femi with someone else.  And the gifts will never make up for his absence.

——————–

It’s easy to listen to Tinuke and Femi’s story and pass judgment, but many times we act like Femi, especially in our relationship with God. It’s easy to do all the ‘right things’, pray, fast, serve, and attend Bible study or church services, yet still be very distant from the Lord.

It’s easy to check all the requirements of being a ‘good Christian’, yet be as far as you can be from God. The Pharisees memorized Scriptures,  fasted twice a week, tithed, and prayed regularly, yet Jesus still described them as ‘whitewashed tombs’ (Matthew 23:27)—beautiful on the outside, but dead on the inside.  

At the end of the day, we serve a God who is more concerned about our hearts and our personal relationship with him than he is with our ‘outward display’. Yes, your service to God is important. Fasting is necessary. Prayer and Bible study are vital. However, what’s prayer if your mind is wandering?

What’s Bible study if you won’t do what He says?

What’s devotion if your heart is divided?

What’s religion when all you want to do is appease the ‘religious guilt’ you feel inside?

What’s Christianity if you don’t even know who Christ is?